first things first

if life is some kind of journey to take us places, then i think the end point will be home.

so this is my blog about my journey to be a momma.

i have a wonderful family, the bestest of friends and a husband i love more and more each day. i cannot be more thankful for what i have. i have had the educational opportunity many people would dream of, i have a master's degree and a profession where i get the opportunity to help people. i am an occupational therapist and it truly is a great profession. sometimes i dislike my days, but in the end, i am a happy person.

i am 33 and began my journey with infertility almost one year ago when i got diagnosed with pcos (polycystic ovarian syndrome). in the beginning it was okay, "i'll use meds, and i'll get pregnant, you'll see" - is the pep talk i had with myself. i still believe it for i am using meds and i will get pregnant! i just don't know when .... i am three cycles into this and many days i am sad, but i am hopeful. it's a pretty defeating thing to have on your mind, this pcos, but so many women have beat it.

i used lyrics from a U2 song to title my blog. music means alot to me and without it i would not have met my husband, and i would not be able to get through some tough emotional things. so here is "a sort of homecoming:"

And you know it's time to go
Through the sleet and driving snow
Across the fields of mourning
Light in the distance

And you hunger for the time
Time to heal, desire, time
And your earth moves beneath
Your own dream landscape

Oh, oh, oh...
On borderland we run...

I'll be there
I'll be there...
Tonight
A high road
A high road out from here

The city walls are all pulled down
The dust, a smoke screen all around
See faces ploughed like fields that once
Gave no resistance

And we live by the side of the road
On the side of a hill
As the valley explode
Dislocated, suffocated
The land grows weary of it's own

Oh, oh, oh...on borderland we run...
And still we run
We run and don't look back
I'll be there
I'll be there
Tonight
Tonight

I'll be there tonight...I believe
I'll be there...somehow
I'll be there...tonight
Tonight

The wind will crack in winter time
This bomb-blast lightning waltz
No spoken words, just a scream...

Tonight we'll build a bridge
Across the sea and land
See the sky, the burning rain
She will die and live again
Tonight

And your heart beats so slow
Through the rain and fallen snow
Across the fields of mourning
Light's in the distance

Oh don't sorrow, no don't weep
For tonight, at last
I am coming home
I am coming home


this journey, my journey will lead me to my home with my husband and our future baby for i will be a momma. i will be the best momma for our baby.