9dpo

well ... i still have on/off cramping, but i am attributing that to my progesterone supps. i have no idea what to think about what's going on and have no idea what poas will bring come wed/thurs. i tried to buy dollar tree pg. tests yesterday, but there were none in the store. maybe it was a sign to buy at least the walmart brand or something? still, holding off on testing and seeing what will happen. the second week of the 2ww is the worst, while the first week is full of cray optimism, the second week is full of crazy nervousness.

i brought up what to do next with j yesterday in the car. he really wants to exhaust all options for us to have our own baby before considering adoption. i'm not sure about me. in a way i'd like to not pass this pcos down to another generation, but then again we could adopt a baby who ends up with it. it's insane to think of the possibilities. so now i need to decide whether to do one more IUI or not before going to IVF. the only thing i would change is adding in the special mixed herbs that would be given to me by my acupuncturist. oh speaking of changes, i am going back to 1000mg of metformin. i've been on the 1500mg and it really didn't seem to change my egg quality based on my p4. and i really do believe it increased my hair shedding. and that is just too much for me to take :( i can accept that i don't have the nice thick hair i had as a child, but i cannot accept looking like i am balding. it's too depressing and hard. so i am sticking to low carb/no sweets/reduced sugar eating. and i think that made more of a difference this past cycle than anything. so we will see what happens at the end of this week :) right! my other opinion. i do not think herbs will help make my body choose the best follicle with the best egg or two for the next cycle. i am leaning towards IVF, just as i was before this current cycle....... still, no decision made yet and praying i won't have to!

so here i am. with too much on my mind, when i am supposed to be relaxing on memorial day weekend!